No more Olympics... aka no more excuses not to do "music business shit"

Well, the STUPID ASS WINTER OLYMPICS are finally over...  So, we have that going for us, which is nice.  At least for weirdos like me, who enjoy PROFANITY-LACED, DRUNKEN TIRADES ABOUT WOMEN'S FIGURE SKATING.  Yep, same link muthafuckers!  I'm still livid about that but my girlfriend has decided she doesn't want to hear me say "Medvedeva" anymore.  And, since she's much smarter than I am, and prettier, I'll oblige her because she's probably right that I'm borderline losing it over the Olympics I didn't even want to watch but was tricked into it when SHE, not me, started watching women's figure skating.  And I still can't believe what Mirai Nagasu and her bullshit, millennial, lazy, scared, SHITTY COMMENTS AFTER SHE LOST.  I don't give a fuck if SHE APOLOGIZED LATER.  Doesn't mean a goddamn thing.  I would have put her on a goddamn plane and sent her back if she didn't care enough to try.  So disrespectful of her coaches, teammates, competitors who worked their fucking asses off so they could compete with someone who cares more about a warm shower than representing herself and her country.  And don't even get me started on Tara Lipinski and her bullshit gold medal...  Thanks for not getting me started...  (sorry this is what my poor girlfriend has endured for like four days now...)

 

What I really wanted to mention was how hard it can be for a creative with Asperger's to get excited and motivated about doing shitty, boring music business things instead of trying to write my new favorite song or the best lyric or best hook or best guitar riff or best Moog sound or best anything other than doing bullshit-ass boring-as-fuck shit that "should be doing."   One of the perks about having money (not a lot but more than enough to waste on music and still be able to drink decent bourbon and get to eat a fucking cheese plate with a bottle of wine when we so desire) is that you can pay people to do the boring shit for you.  Only they never do it as good as you could have or as thoroughly or with as much passion or with as much tenacity or, fuck, I wish everyone cared about my shit as much as I do.  I can't do it all.  I tried.  It nearly killed me...

 

Five years ago, I self-financed MY DEBUT ALBUM "Burn What You Can, Bury the Rest..." (click and scroll halfway down to listen or CLICK HERE AND FUCKING BUY THIS SHIT, you won't regret it).  The band was fairly new and we hadn't yet discovered just how goddamn dysfunctional we were.  Fuck, were we in for a shit-storm like I never expected...

 

Good thing that happened during the making of my debut album:  I met my future girlfriend, as she sang on "This Old House" and "I am not Afraid."

 

Bad thing that happened during the making of my debut album:  every other muthafucking thing that happened during the making of my debut album...

 

Some Highlights:

 

- Our producer/engineer (and us) got wrecked during the making of the final mixes on Woodford Reserve and good weed because of a bad breakup he'd had (our "discussion" over the use or non-use, I won, non-use it was, of auto-tune notwithstanding.  Don't care if it's standard these days).  To be fair, the producer/engineer of "Burn What You Can, Bury the Rest..." is the best music partner I've ever worked with.  He made us and that record infinitely better than we (probably) were and even sang on "She Will Never Return to Me," in addition to playing organ on several other tunes.  He also supported my ban of our drummer from the studio over a background vocal dispute.

 

- Hearing Brianne Kathleen sing for the first time, on my record...  Figured we could just mix it low or cut a bunch out if she sucked but the opposite proved to be true.

 

- Hearing the "Just Like Jon Fickes" mix for the first time.  Fun fact:  I was so nervous about this song not living up to the sounds in my head that I had a panic attack, then self-sabotaged and drank all morning then had a second panic attack and passed out, missing the mixing session for this tune.  When I finally showed up to the studio, it was already done and I just got to hear it for the first time out of my head (even when we played it live, it was different and more majestic in my head).  It was wonderful and mystical and sounded more like my dream version than any other song I've recorded, maybe ever.  I'm glad I wasn't there to screw up the mix...

 

Some Lowlights:

 

- Banning our drummer from the studio for his petulance over not singing a backup part Brianne CLEARLY sang 1000x better than him.  Then, firing the drummer (and the guitar player quitting as a result, they're longtime friends) over disputes (fucking screaming matches) about the mixes, album title, the "Just Like Jon Fickes" song title, Brianne's vocals, the track order, what songs made the final cut and just about every other goddamn decision I made surrounding the album.

 

- Having to sell everything I owned apart from a free couch and a free bed, my guitars and my boots.  I have a lifelong distaste for "Madmen" after season 3 because I had to sell all the DVD's before I even got to watch them...  It's hard for millennials but I spent a year or two (who can remember?  COCAINE IS A HELL OF A DRUG) without a computer or TV.

 

- Firing my bass player for trying to create the album art without me, trying to hijack and control the publicist and her message, and basically trying to kick ME out of BRADLEY WIK and the Charlatans since his coke-addled mind knew better than me about how we should display and promote MY album...  Good times...

 

But, I did have the pleasure of playing "The Dark Lovely" for songwriter Jon Fickes at a show up in Seattle and getting to see him tear up a bit with pride and gratitude towards my love of his music.  Karl's drums got stolen from his car parked outside the show (he wasn't even playing due to a mishap on a backflip during his Seahawks marching band gig).  But, Jon's new album "Closer to a Ghost", under the band name A View of Earth From the Moon, is fantastic and I just got to see him on his tour ending show in Cottage Grove, OR last night.  Yes, I'm still fucking tired from the 2+ hour drive there, and back, and the 3 or so hours of sleep I got (the 4+ bourbons/drinks didn't help either.  4 is Favre's number and so that's my number, 4 + or -, a gentleman never tells...).  And, we did make good money on the ensuing tours, album sales, digital sales, etc. so I can't complain too much, until we decided to make another record......  (yes, that ellipsis had an ellipsis as that shit is far too fucked up and long to go into tonight)  I thought the making of the first record was rough, but I had no idea.  Seriously, no idea...

 

But, I learned a fuckload making "Burn What You Can, Bury the Rest..." and I wouldn't trade it for anything...

 

(dictated but not read.  I'm tired muthafucker...)

 

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Medvedeva got screwed... aka Yes, I love women's figure skating

It's a goddamn travesty that Evgenia Medvedeva got screwed out of the gold medal.  Right?  Who's with me?  Seriously, how did THIS GIRL NOT WIN?!  Her component score was only 2.4 points better than Zagitova's component score?  Fuck that.  Her component should have been at least 5 points higher.  Zagitova saved most of her jumps for the last 30 seconds, well, brilliant bitch, doesn't change a goddamn thing.  Medvedeva nailed all her shit (I know, they both kinda biffed a triple in their sets) and it was a ridiculously more artistic skate.  I get that the scorers love more technical skating but this is bullshit.  Zagitova might have attempted a more technical triple-triple but does that negate the fact that Medvedeva's skate made me feel something?  Medvedeva gave me a reason to love the Russian skaters.  She made me believe in figure skating again, in the beauty of ice dancing.  

 

I know, I know, I was against Russians in the Olympics to begin with since they were initially banned.  I say, ban 'em or don't.  But, I agree with the Olympic Committee allowing these girls in as it was my favorite/least favorite part of the Olympics.  I tried to give the shitty fucking ass Winter Olympics could win me over, and they did with the ladies winning the Hockey, Vonn winning any medals, and US men's curling being a real thing. But if they are going to reward Zagitova's run over Medvedeva's then fuck the winter olympics and I'll go back to only caring about the summer games (Michael Phelps or no). 

 

Not sure how else to say this but since Medvedeva didn't win, I'm back out on the stupid winter Olympics.  Sure, curling is fun and so is the biathalon (a sport the US should win every year, skiing and shooting, come the fuck on) but figure skating is what the world tunes in for.  And, the US is fucking shit right now.  Nagasu even said it was her audition for "Dancing with the Stars."  That's goddamn a disgrace.

 

Regardless, Medvedeva should have won the gold and I'll never get over that.  She got screwed on the component score vs Zagitova.  Yes, Zagitova did win the technical score but Medvedeva was clearly the better skater, especially from an artistic level.  It wasn't particularly close even though somehow the judges ruled them approx. 2 points apart in that way.  Goddamnit, what a fucking travesty.  Sorry, I'm drunk and I'm pissed Medvedeva didn't win.  Such bullshit.  If you want skaters to game the system than brilliant, fuck you.  If you want the best skater to win, than you fuck you, you fucked up, assholes... You picked the wrong girl for gold...

 

(dictated but not read)