You know doctors can't seem to figure out? Bon Jovi cures all...

So, you know when the doctor asks if you are allergic to any medications?  Well, I finally get to say "You betcha" in my best Tina Fey-impression-of-Sarah-Palin voice.  Not sure I'm excited about this fact but it'll make my (very few) doctors visits more interesting.  I am not a fan of doctors.  More often than not they just recommend to take some pills and go away.  My best example was when I was having repeated extreme acid reflux/ulcers, that were most likely stress and *cough* diet (or lack thereof or something...) related and they told 26 year old me to take a prescription heartburn medication each morning.  I said "For how long?"  They said "Probably everyday."  I again said, "But for how long?"  They said "From now on."  So, for the next 25-50 years I am supposed to just keep taking drugs that I may or may not need?  Needless to say, I was not very kind to them and the whole exchange ended with "Well, do whatever you want," as the doctor walked out the door.  I've never taken a fucking heartburn pill since and never had that issue again...  Turns out I was right the whole fucking time and cutting back on a few things (alcohol, cigarettes, stress, actually eating something beyond turkey sandwiches, tortilla chips and eggs and, some other things) and I've not had an issue since.  I was twice hospitalized with this condition (didn't pay for either trip to the ER's plus the overnight stays.  Tip to the young folks, find a private Catholic hospital as they have funding for poor people that come in and let them know you were raised Catholic and feel more comfortable in a hospital that acknowledges the Lord...  Trust me, it works...) and I figured it out my damn self.  Just like everything else in my life.  Doctors rarely give enough fucks to dig deep and figure this shit out.

 

Which, brings me back to my newfound drug allergy.  I have an inner-ear issue I've probably had since I was in my early twenties.  I've had degenerative hearing loss in my right ear which started out very slight and now is quite noticeable when compared to my left ear.  I used to barely hear a difference and think I was inventing it with my brain but not anymore.  It's also coincided with a rise in tinnitus in that same ear.  Again, I assumed this was due to many years of playing Rock N' Roll with very few years of wearing ear plugs.  Dumb as fuck, I know, but whatever.  It makes a difference to me and I can't sing for dick with ear plugs in.  I know, I'm not fucking Jeff Buckley with them out (or with them in, bada-bing! Sex joke...) but it makes a difference, trust me.  

 

This inner-ear issue was goddamn Fast and Furious style nitro-boosted after getting in two car accidents last year.  Both times I was rear-ended while at a red light and both times dealt with whiplash and a concussion.  Concussions are no joke and turns out if you've had one (or four or five) as a kid, they are way worse as an adult.  The second one lasted basically three fucking months, and, was timed perfectly with the release of my new album "In My Youth, I'm Getting Old..." so I missed the release and was unable to make any music videos/release singles to promote the record.  Not ideal when launching a record but God had other plans, I guess.  After reading some more shit on inner-ear conditions like Meniere's disease, turns out whiplash is a common trigger or can aggravate this condition.  It most certainly has.  I've now seen three doctors for essentially the same issue (clogged ear, balance/vision issues) and one said it was because of an allergy, one said result of a cold and the last one said there's some fluid from an infection that will dry up and I'll be fine, even after I mentioned this is the third time I've dealt with a similar issue in the past year.  She said there's a possibility it's Meniere's but it's highly unlikely since it's a rare condition.  Well, it's probably a rare condition since I've seen a doctor three times for the same thing and they still haven't even really entertained the idea.  They never diagnose it so it's rare.  Just like Autism/Asperger's was until they finally started to figure out how to diagnose it.  And, even now, I've met at least ten to fifteen people who have never been diagnosed who definitely live on the spectrum.

 

Oh yeah, my drug allergy.  It's a bit ironic that the drug that is supposed to help with dizziness, nausea and vertigo fucks with my eyes (lost my near-sightedness, which is scary as fuck since I'm heavily near-sighted, like almost fucking blind unless things are within four inches of my face with my contacts out/glasses off) and stomach (making me slightly nauseous not hungry) and, just for kicks, gave me a rash on the front and back of my torso.  Needless to say, it did not help...  I'm currently looking at natural, legal (at least in the NW) alternatives that are supposed to help.  So far, the information is promising...

 

Sadly, both Asperger's and Meniere's increase anxiety and depression.  So, in other words, not cool bro.  I'm still holding out hope that my ear issues are only temporary, though, based on the past six to twelve months, that is not the case.  But, maybe, it could...

 

Anyways, how about some good news?  Well, here you go:  we live in a world where a band called Bon Jovi made a record called "New Jersey" which has one of the greatest side-As (side-B gets a little hit and miss...) in the history of the world.  I mean, "LAY YOUR HANDS ON ME," "BAD MEDICINE" (fucking Sam Kinison, right?!) AND "BLOOD ON BLOOD" all on one side??  Come the fuck on.  How are we supposed to compete with that?  Now, while I don't compare women to a heroin habit, I'd argue side-A of "In My Youth, I'm Getting Old..." is pretty fucking good too.  "LOOKIN' AT LUCKEY," "LET'S GO OUT TONIGHT" AND "DANCE THE NIGHT AWAY" are pretty rockin' tunes as well.  OK, maybe not Bon Jovi level, but some of us don't do enough cocaine for that kind of shit...

 

New Jersey album cover.jpg

 

Anywhosal, have a great night/day/afternoon, whatever the fuck it is for y'all...

 

(still not 100% from the vertigo/inner-ear issue so, once again, dictated but not read)