OK, I’m finally done talking about the latest record “music for depressed alcoholic autistic people” for at least a day or so. But, if you haven’t heard it for some reason, please do by CLICKING HERE. If it peaks your interest, go back to any of the past five blogs I’ve written about it and the four songs on it. But, again, I’m not talking about it anymore…
So, what will I be talking about then? Good question. The answer is complicated as I don’t think I can distill it down any more than to say: about a bunch of random shit. That’s right! It’s another edition of “random shit with an Asperger’s.” I suggest drinking/smoking your way through this as it might make more sense. I, myself, am on my third Tennessee whiskey. I know what you’re thinking, Tennessee whiskey? Thought you were a bourbon man. I am but George Dickel was on sale and I can’t say no to some Dickel, if you know what I mean. And by that I mean that I’m a poor musician who isn’t currently making any money and only buys whatever is on sale when he can afford to buy any whiskey/bourbon at all. Nothing like getting drunk on some Dickel during “random shit with an Asperger’s.”
Random Thought #1: Melissa Villasenor, again
Aficionados of this blog know my disdain for SNL’s misuse/non-use of Melissa, as evidenced by another random thought blog which can be found HERE. And, since I’ve already re-watched all of “The Mighty Boosh,” I needed something else to occupy my time. Well, Melissa’s YouTube channel is doing the trick. You can find standup, weird, random videos and all the impressions SNL should be using but for some reason isn’t. Hell, I finally learned there are actual words to the Bon Iver song “Skinny Love” BECAUSE OF MELISSA’S COVER. She may not be the most accomplished guitar player but fuck can she sing, which we already knew because of her CHRISTINA AGUILERA IMPRESSIONS. But, have you seen HER FAVORITE IMPRESSIONS? I fucking love this shit and could/have watched these for hours. If you haven’t watched her “Daily Itineraries” series, and I suspect you haven’t, you should start HERE or HERE. But, before my wife gets jealous of my constantly talking about Melissa, let’s move on to random thought #2. Well, not before we appreciate THIS SHIT. You even tried to sing along to an MJ song? Nothing makes you question your own singing abilities more. OK, I’m done..
Random Thought #2: The two worst things Phil Collins has done
Speaking of great singers, Phil is criminally underrated. Try singing along to your favorite Genesis/Phil tune and you’ll see what I mean. Dude can wail. BUT, he also made some weird choices over the years like allowing THIS SONG to make it onto a record, umm (we don’t know…). And choosing to do whatever the fuck happens at around the 2:15 in MAMA. I’m talking about that “Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha, eowww” thing. Cocaine is a hell of drug… Though, in his defense, I listen to “Who Dunnit?” at least once a month and I say “Ha ha ha, eowww” so much that my wife cringes the second she hears me say the word “ha” these days. So, maybe it’s not that bad. I guess I kinda like both those things so… I mean there’s actually some songs he’s done that are kinda boring. Not bad but just not brilliant. But, “Who Dunnit?” and that weird cackle thing in “Mama” are definitely my favorite Collins “lowlights,” if you can even call them that seeing as I constantly quote them.
Random Thought #3: The Big Show Show is really fucking funny
As a wrestling/WWE fan, I figured I’d give the “Big Show Show” a day in court. They kept pumping it after Raw and Smackdown, so I thought “how bad could it be?” Turns out, not bad at all. Is it “Bless This Mess” or “What We Do in the Shadows" (my favorite newish/New Zealand-new shows)? No, but it’s a silly, clever, and doesn’t take itself serious at all type show, which I can get behind. It may not be destined for infinite rewatchability like Seinfeld, I Love Lucy or Chappelle’s Show but it can definitely help pass a few hours (there’s only eight episodes) if you’re bored after rewatching “Making a Murderer” for the 11th time, like I was. The littlest daughter in “The Big Show Show” is worth the price of admission herself. I can’t wait to see what she does with her comedy future… Or even just more episodes of this show, hopefully.
Random Thought #4: Is staying home really that bad?
No one is thrilled to be at home all day, every day (although my cat, Lovey, is thrilled that both her people are always around these days). But, is it really that bad? I get that I’m lucky in that I’m an introvert, so I don’t mind staying home in general, and I’m married, so I’m not alone right now. But, I can’t honestly say it’s a big sacrifice or anything that I’m making. Although, it’s nobody’s idea of fun, there are literally tens of thousands of people dying and many more suffering through the horrible lack of oxygen, pain, etc. while our health care workers are over-worked, under-protected, and also mentally/emotionally stretched thinner than phyllo dough. Not to mention the grocery store workers risking their own health, the restaurant workers and delivery drivers who interact with people daily, and all the food production workers who still punch in every day. Then, take into account that likely half, or more, of all those workers don’t even have health insurance (yes, including those working in the health industry) to protect themselves should they become ill. I know, 80-90% of all who get infected show mild or no symptoms, but there’s still that random percentage of children and young adults who are dying for unknown reasons. If all I have to do is stay home to possibly not infect and kill someone else, that seems like a pretty good deal for all of us. Look, I want to get back to playing shows, eating/drinking at my favorite spots, seeing friends in person again, etc. just as much as anyone, literally my livelihood/income depend on it, but on the off chance I have the virus and pass it along to someone just because I want to go get tacos and a beer, I don’t know if I could forgive myself. I look at it the same way as how I wouldn’t drive home drunk on the off chance I might crash into and murder someone. It’s very similar. It’s rarely the drunk driver who dies, but it puts others on the road around them at risk. Someone could be accidentally killed through no fault of their own. The virus doesn’t give a fuck about our plans or how much we miss our former lives. It just wants to infect as many people as possible. I’m young, healthy and probably not at risk for any serious issues (in fact, I may have already had the virus as I had a good chunk of the symptoms back in February, stayed home for a bit and recovered pretty quickly) but I’m not staying home to protect me. It’s to protect those who are at risk, or may be randomly selected by the virus for the worst of it. Who knows. But, I really don’t want to hear much more complaining about how bad we have it when people are dying and the people trying to save them are risking their own physical/mental/emotional health.
Random Thought #5: Tracy Morgan was also criminally underused on SNL
I wanted to post a few clips of Astronaut Jones, my favorite of all Tracy’s sketches, but came up empty. Sure, I could find the Woodrow clip we all remember (HERE). And, it seems Brian Fellow’s Safari Planet has become the only well-represented Morgan material (SEE HERE). And sure, if you haven’t seen those, please enjoy the recommendation as they’re funny as shit. And I also know he didn’t get a lot of featured sketches to begin with, but really? Not one Astronaut Jones skit on YouTube aside from a half one where someone videotaped their TV while they were watching. C’mon internet. I need me some inappropriate “space booty” comments. Somebody find that shit and let me know where it’s hiding. I got time to kill and a need for “fun and adventure. Yes, I said adventure.”
Random Thought #6: If you haven’t watched Nailed it! yet, then just fucking do it
This is one of the most outrageously, laugh out loud funny shows I’ve ever seen. Brianne and I constantly reference it to each other. We’ve also had to put a refrain on watching it during eating meals because of the we-might-accidentally-spit-out-our-food-laughing-factor. Will every episode have you making noises you’ve never made before while laughing so hard you might bruise your ribs? Probably not, but some will (at least they did for me. I’ve literally woken up with sore ribs after a few episodes) and it’s always worth it to find out. If you don’t know what it is, just watch it and find out. That’s all I’m gonna say.
Random Thought #7: I have something in common with a Ghostbuster?!
OK, it might not be quite as cool as it sounds, but I did recently run across THIS SHORT CLIP (gotta find that interview they referenced to listen to in full) where Dan Aykroyd (himself either the 2nd or 3rd greatest SNL cast member ever behind Will Ferrell, #1, and then it’s a pick-em with Dan and Phil Hartman, in my opinion) revealed his Asperger’s diagnosis. So, no, I don’t “do science” (that reference is for the keen observers of “Nailed It”) like Dr. Stantz but I do have Asperger’s; so I got that going for me, which is nice. Just don’t expect my help in exploding any giant marshmallows… I leave that shit for them scientists.
Random Thought #8: Nope, that’s it for now
Now that we’re officially 5 drinks in, and it’s 1am, it’s time for me to go watch the latest episode of “What We Do in the Shadows” and get tired enough to fall asleep. So, I’ll bid you adieu. I’ll be back sooner than later these days, so stay tuned for more info. I got some things I’m cooking up behind the scenes that should hopefully be ready to put out soon.
(dictated but not read)
