3rd Rock from the Sun and new music Recommendations...

Best 3rd Rock from the Sun Titles(aka Why 3rd Rock from the Sun wins the “Greatest Titles Ever” Belt) in chronological order, of course, assholes…


-       Dick, Smoker
-       The Art of Dick
-       The Dicks, They Are a Changing
-       I Enjoy Being a Dick
-       Assault with a Deadly Dick
-       World’s Greatest Dick
-       Gobble, Gobble, Dick, Dick
-       I Brake for Dick
-       Will Work for Dick
-       Eleven Angry Men and One Dick
-       Auto EuroDicka
-       The House that Dick Built
-       Dick ‘the Mouth’ Solomon
-       Near Dick Experience
-       Youth is Wasted on the Dick
-       Shall We Dick?
-       There’s No Business like Dick Business

     I’m not sure if you fuckers watched and loved this show the way I did.  It was an extremely integral part of my middle school experience; the same way Nirvana, Bright Eyes, Football, Acne, Braces and Masturbating was.  Speaking of Bright Eyes, he is easily the most awkward concert I have ever been to.  It’s weird that at 18 years old, you can feel like a fucking old man, weirdo, pedo-type, but that’s exactly how my buddy and I felt.  Then again, it’s hard not to sitting amongst 5,000 depressed 15 and 16 year old girls for two hours.. And, of course, we had to be next to the fucking idiot who claimed he went to High School with Conor Oberst(we were in Wisconsin, so it’s highly unlikely despite the massive amount of alcohol and smoke this man took in order to arrive at this conclusion.  Then again, he had some pretty damn good weed  for Wisconsin and after sharing he sort of convinced me.  Then again, in that state, those depressed teenage girls could’ve convinced me to read more fucking Neil Gaiman) and couldn’t stop yelling out, no fucking bullshit, “Play some FUCKING Bright Eyes.”  Regardless,   Conor fucking rocked the Pabst Theater.  It was the country half(“I’m Wide Awake, It’s Morning”) of his two album tour.  No matter how old I get, I can’t completely make fun of the pretentious as fuck fake interview from “An Attempt to Tip the Scales” on “Fevers & Mirrors.”  I gotta give him credit, he had balls at least.  I wonder what he thinks of that nowadays.  I know what I would think…  One of my favorite Conor songs will always be “Waste of Paint.” It was one of the first songs I heard where I thought “Hell, maybe I could do that…”  Obviously, part of my love for that song is my everlasting, and ridiculously nostalgic, youth and my insanity which has revealed itself in my need to create music; for better or worse.  Conor’s strongest impression was to inspire me to endlessly write songs about trying to get laid in high school, completely failing nearly every time, of course, while making up(or “freestyling” as I liked to say) half the words; which I don’t think he did but it sure sounded like it.  Songs at that time were, to me, fluid and changed everytime I sang them.  When you are 18 years old the subject matter changes frequently, as every day is a new adventure and everything moves so quickly…  Wait, that’s fucking stupid and just romantic reminiscing…  That’s right, I was talking about my love for Dick…

     Seriously, look at that fucking list.  What TV show do you know that could even think of putting their titles up against those?  I’m not sure how this flew but I guess we were less sensitive back in the nineties..  Also, how good looking is Joseph Gordon-Levitt, seriously?  Even as a fellow teen, I had a huge man crush on him.  That hair…

     Lest you aren’t a huge folk music fan like moi, then you probably don’t know the full awesomeness of THIS…  Cat Power was one of the first shows I ever saw in Seattle and she most definitely didn’t disappoint.  I almost got stabbed by a homeless man on the way home but, since I didn’t, it was certainly worth it…

     I’ve done lots of shit-talking about various bands and music in the past so I’d like to offer a couple listens that may or may not blow your mind.  As a sidenote, I don’t know if you all have heard of this Spotify deal but it’s pretty fucking sweet.  I can listen to boatloads of music without having to tote around crates of CD’s all the time.  Maybe I’m too old for this interwebs thing…  Anyhow, take a listen to the new Wolf Alice album “My Love is Cool.”  I recently saw them in Seattle at the Crocodile and they killed it, rough.  Like fucking seriously rough.  I haven’t seen a show that good in a long, long while.  The single is “Bros” which is good but I can’t stop listening to “Your Loves Whore” and “Lisbon.”  They have sort of a Joy Formidable feel but poppier and a bit grungier, if that makes any sense.  Huge, balls to the wall rock sound and great hooks and grooves with just the right amount of chaos.

     Also, on the recommendation of the podcast I have binge listened to over the past month, Man vs. Radio(which you should totally check out.  Tons of great music and Christian has some incredible stories you should hear), I recently have gotten into the Blue Nile’s “A Walk Across the Rooftops” which is amazing, beautiful, poignant, soulful, sad, hopeful and brilliant beyond brilliant.  I don’t have proper words to describe this album so just listen to “Heatwave” and “Stay” and stop reading this shit…


     But, if you haven’t, take a listen to this shit  Rocks my world everytime.  I listened to this on repeat for three hours on the drive from Seattle back to Portland and got chills everytime.  It’s that good. Anyhow, I know it’s been way too long but I’m back bitches and expect more updates soon…